Research and Questionnaire

As I embarked upon establishing the outline for this book I set about to identify what people who had experienced this were feeling and thinking about.

My hope was that I would identify a few people who were keen to assist in supporting others by sharing their experiences but I wasn’t quite sure what to expect given the secrecy that often surrounds this kind of loss.

My original questions were developed to generate some ideas for me.  What I didn’t expect was that these questions would instigate a process of healing for so many. I received emails thanking me for creating the opportunity to share and revisit what often been ‘buried’ for fear of being judged or hurt again.

What this allowed me to understand was not only the importance of creating an opportunity to share stories as many others have done before me, but also to create an opportunity to provide a structured set of questions for those who wanted to get to the depths of their pain and identify a new path, a path toward greater healing.  The self coaching concept was created and this is what transformed  this book from a collection of stories to a guide for exploration and healing.

The original questions asked in the survey are outlined below:

  1. Please providedetails of Your Pregnancy and Loss/es
  2. What date/s did you experience your loss and how old were you?
  3. How many weeks gestation were you?
  4. What were the reasons for the loss (if known)?
  5. Have you experienced more than one loss? Please provide details
  6. Your Story – Please include whatever information that is important to you to share so that I may understand what happened to you and how this affected you.  Keep in mind that there is no right way to tell a story – this is your story so share it with me in a way that suits you.
  7. Did you understand the decisions made about your care during the loss?
  8. Were you involved in the decisions regarding your medical care?
  9. Were you given sufficient time to consider your options and make appropriate decisions (if relevant)?
  10. Was your support partner able to be with you?
  11. Was your loss acknowledged appropriately by your medical team in your opinion?
  12. Your experiences after the loss
  13. What support services did you access, if any, after your loss? i.e. face to face counselling, online support group, family and friends, spiritual leaders, medical professional, other?
  14. Did you access any resources that you would recommend to others?
  15. What other actions, if any, did you take to support yourself after your loss?
  16. Is there any resource or service that you feel would be valuable to others that wasn’t available for you?
  17. In hindsight, what would you have appreciated knowing either before, during or after this experience.
  18. Were you required to/ did you choose to bury your baby after the birth?
  19. How did other people respond to your story?  Were any responses surprising or disappointing to you?
  20. Where did the best form of support come from for you and were you surprised by this?
  21. What have you learned about yourself, your strengths and qualities through this experience?
  22. Often during these life events people can look back and be grateful for some part of the experience, what, if anything, are you most grateful for from this experience?
  23. When you look back now is there anything you would have chosen to do differently?
  24. What is the one piece of advice that you would share with someone who was going through what you went through?
  25. What advice would you give the medical profession when caring for people experiencing this type of loss?
  26. What advice would you give family and friends in how to support someone in this situation?
  27. Is there a question that you wanted me to ask that I didn’t?