Exploring and Expressing Fear after miscarriage is important for each of us.
What is Fear
Fear occurs when we know we may lose something we want and value. While anger and sadness may seem the most obvious responses to the loss of our babies, it is important to explore any fears that have been created from the experience.
Where Does Fear Live
Physically, fear lives in the solar plexus – the area at the base of our ribs.
What Fear Can Feel Like
Fear often causes paralysis, nausea, tightness in the stomach and chest and an elevated heart rate. As we revisit our experience, we can take note of where we are experiencing the feeling in our body. This helps to confirm whether the emotion is likely to be fear.
How To Deal With Fear – Explore It…
Like the other emotions, the way to deal with fear is to explore it in a safe environment.
What are you afraid of:
- Not having any living children?
- Not having another child?
- Not being good enough to be a parent?
When we feel overwhelmed by fear, we need to genuinely explore each individual fear that we have. Only then can we gain a different perspective, which will enable the fear to fade.
Explore Your Fear Gently
The best way to explore fear is gently – there is no need to crush it.
Ask yourself questions about the nature of the fear:
- Where in my body does it live?
- What colour is it?
- How big is it?
- Would it hold water?
- Is it stagnant or volatile?
- How long has it been there?
- What would I like to do with it?
Questions like these may seem odd, but they help us examine the feeling without forcing us to confront it head on.
Once we have come to understand the fear, it will fade.
Write To Express and Explore Your Fear
It can also be useful to express our emotions in a journal. Writing emotionally (don’t think, just write what you feel) often gives us the opportunity to express how we are feeling, and then let go.
Acknowledging Your Fear Helps Disarm It
Perhaps the most important point to remember is simply to acknowledge the fear and not disregard it – ignoring it only gives it greater power and a greater hold on you.
The Beyond Pregnancy Loss Workbook can help you work through your fear after miscarriage.
Until next time
Take care
Helen
